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Parenting & Coaching

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR TENNIS PARENTS! From the International Tennis Federation

• You shall not speak or signal to your child during the match. Quite simply, it is against the rules.
• You shall remain calm during play, whether `your side` is 4-0 , or 0-4 down.
• You shall watch your child’s match from wherever your child feels most comfortable having you – near the court, from the Clubhouse, or ten miles away.
• You shall judge a match based on your child’s performance, effort and sportsmanship – not on whether she won or lost.
• You shall not rush to your son at the end of a match to give him your in-depth analysis. Win or lose, most players need time to themselves after competing.
• You shall not make your child practice when he really does not want to – unless your aim is to turn him off tennis....
• You shall encourage your ward to be as independent as possible in organising tennis schedule. Success at tennis requires independent thought and action.
• You shall not go to every practice session, lesson or match. He needs to get used to playing without you around.
• You shall allow your child and his coach to decide what to do during lessons. Your influence in this specialist area should be minimal.
• You shall be a loved, respected and welcomed tennis parent, should you obey the first nine commandments!

Balancing love and 40-love

let’s look at things from a Positive Parenting Perspective. Can you answer “Yes” to two or more of these questions about the future?

• Can you give your child unconditional love, support and encouragement regardless of their on court performances?
• Do you believe that the most important skills for your child to develop are confidence, self belief, honesty, integrity and humility?
• Do you believe you should give your child a day or two off each week just to relax and enjoy being a kid?
• Can you promise not to discuss tennis away from the court? !Can you encourage your child to develop skills in other sports and activities and to continue their education?
• Can you provide your child with a loving, caring, supportive, stable family environment?
• Can you stay away from the training court for a few days without getting anxious?
• Can you give your child’s coach total and unconditional support – particularly when your child hits a rough patch or form slump?
• If your child does not make it as a professional player, will you still love them, care for them, support them, nurture them and be there for them unconditionally?
• Can you show dignity, maturity and decency when your child is defeated in a tournament?

Score 2-3 : can I suggest another sport?

Score 4-6 : a good chance of developing a well rounded, confident, balanced child.

Score 7-10 : congratulations – you are an outstanding tennis parent and you have all the skills you need to help your child become the best they can be – in life, in sport, at school, in the family.....and maybe even tennis.

Being a tennis parent is a tough job. And like all tough jobs, you need good training and lots of education to do it well.

So how can you be an outstanding tennis parent?

• Sit down with your child’s coach.
• Ask them for honest, hard hitting, direct feedback on the job you are doing as a tennis parent. In the same way that your child seeks and receives honest feedback on their backhand, serve, volley etc – you too need honest, direct, regular feedback to improve your tennis parenting skills. And.....be prepared to listen to it and act upon it.